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i keep hearing chimes and i have no idea where theyāre coming from..
im so pissed off. i try to be nice because we havenāt talked in a week and you start getting pissy with me, after youāve already left me on delivered for over an entire fucking day. i donāt get it.
i just feel sick with anger right now, and itās stirring in my stomach. i feel like i tend to exaggerate my emotions sometimes to sound cooler, but i really feel sick. like i could throw up all the cold water i just drank. what did i even do?
i wish i didnāt have to be coddled just so i wonāt be offended or hurt, i like it a little though. i like when people care enough to make sure iām okay. but thereās no one to coddle me right now. no one to tell me i just got the tone of the message wrong or it wasnāt meant to sound so snarky. no one to tell me to quit being a bitch. this is the last post that i write for you.
i donāt want to ghost him for another year (about 11 months to be more accurate), but things are looking grim..happy new year?
xoxo
a
i just feel sick with anger right now, and itās stirring in my stomach. i feel like i tend to exaggerate my emotions sometimes to sound cooler, but i really feel sick. like i could throw up all the cold water i just drank. what did i even do?
i wish i didnāt have to be coddled just so i wonāt be offended or hurt, i like it a little though. i like when people care enough to make sure iām okay. but thereās no one to coddle me right now. no one to tell me i just got the tone of the message wrong or it wasnāt meant to sound so snarky. no one to tell me to quit being a bitch. this is the last post that i write for you.
i donāt want to ghost him for another year (about 11 months to be more accurate), but things are looking grim..happy new year?
xoxo
a
i love my friends, donāt get me wrong, but thereās only so many times you can punch me in my ribs without me getting irritated. iām running on oreos and ice water and you decide to keep doing shit you know pisses me off. weāve been friends for about 3 years, you know how little my temper is. you can see my mood shift in my face.
i donāt care that much that she hit me, i care because it wasnāt even really deserved. and i donāt like being scared. you literally watched me curl up before you hit me and you did it anyway. wtf. itās okay though cos weāll be cuddled up in 2 min.
we made up right after i wrote this ššš
i donāt care that much that she hit me, i care because it wasnāt even really deserved. and i donāt like being scared. you literally watched me curl up before you hit me and you did it anyway. wtf. itās okay though cos weāll be cuddled up in 2 min.
we made up right after i wrote this ššš
I wanna look like the midst of midnight, beautiful and burning with stars. Iām longing to feel more than a simple thought in someoneās mind.
I wanna be full with light and life again, maybe finding my purpose. I no longer wanna be that rotting corpse, being eaten by the maggots.
Though my mind is full of diseases and uncured sickness, I donāt think the time of happiness will ever come.
Death hasnāt touched me, but to all I love I am dead.
I wanna be full with light and life again, maybe finding my purpose. I no longer wanna be that rotting corpse, being eaten by the maggots.
Though my mind is full of diseases and uncured sickness, I donāt think the time of happiness will ever come.
Death hasnāt touched me, but to all I love I am dead.
I hate myself for forgiving you, knowing you tried many ways to keep me quiet. You made me feel gross about my body and who I am as a person.
Iām filled with anger, and thatās something I lived with ever since. The void feeling being there for entirety.
You made me feel like I was insane, and that I was being fed lies about my own experience. You tried to harm me for trying to get help.
I havenāt gotten that help. I never got to heal properly. That stab wound is still openly bleeding, and I just want it to close.
Iāve never talked about this in a deeper level, because anytime I choke up and wanna burn every nerve in my body.
You never showed me love in any sort. You showed me what it meant to have resentment and misery.
For me I have to suffer with these things by living. Youāve made me want to say goodnight.
Iām filled with anger, and thatās something I lived with ever since. The void feeling being there for entirety.
You made me feel like I was insane, and that I was being fed lies about my own experience. You tried to harm me for trying to get help.
I havenāt gotten that help. I never got to heal properly. That stab wound is still openly bleeding, and I just want it to close.
Iāve never talked about this in a deeper level, because anytime I choke up and wanna burn every nerve in my body.
You never showed me love in any sort. You showed me what it meant to have resentment and misery.
For me I have to suffer with these things by living. Youāve made me want to say goodnight.
My stomach is sick from just existing, only thing I can consume are my thoughts. Nothing is distracting my mind, as Iām still finding pain in myself. Iām tired but no amount of rest will work, as itās not rest I need anymore. My mental health being a monster, haunting me and following my every move. Itās waiting for the right moment to consume me whole. Itās waiting for my most vulnerable moment and his plan is working, as each day Iām getting unfortunate with my health. Dismal being my best friend right now, as it seems Iām alone. āYouāre not alone Raven Iām here!ā As much as I want to believe it, if that were true I wouldnāt be fighting this monster by myself. Everyone has their own personal hell, filled with their own creatures. Some are fortunate to have someone who can help. For me, I have a curse that will forever cause me to feel alone. I donāt know what to feel. I fear the strawberry gashes are everywhere, for the spirit took control.
To destroy me, you would have to become me. I only know my deepest fears.
To destroy me, you would have to become me. I only know my deepest fears.
I cannot make you love me, but I can turn you into poetry.
I'm a yearning poet for you, and at the midst of night I hope the moon will send you, my message. The distance is just a myth to my head' because I know the truth will cut my throat.
I'm a yearning poet for you, and at the midst of night I hope the moon will send you, my message. The distance is just a myth to my head' because I know the truth will cut my throat.
Call me pretty, call me worthless, call me anything you want. Because in the end I want to be something.
I don't know what to feel at the moment, as my feelings are scattered puzzle pieces. Only so much emotion I can take at the moment until I burst. I feel anger for past memories, but vacant. I feel sad for current events but confused.
Am I something to or nothing?
I don't know what to feel at the moment, as my feelings are scattered puzzle pieces. Only so much emotion I can take at the moment until I burst. I feel anger for past memories, but vacant. I feel sad for current events but confused.
Am I something to or nothing?
HALLOOOOO I finally got a laptop so posting here will be sosososo much easier!!!!
Life update since im here... Me and the girl arent really anything i suppose. Im just really confused on what to do because we hardly talk or see eachother anymore. I talked to my friends about how im feeling, and they said im giving my all. If yall could help me that would be GREAT
Life update since im here... Me and the girl arent really anything i suppose. Im just really confused on what to do because we hardly talk or see eachother anymore. I talked to my friends about how im feeling, and they said im giving my all. If yall could help me that would be GREAT
itās been a while since iāve written on here and wasnāt in distress or upset. i was going to say ābut when am i not upset,ā but iām actually in a good mood right now.
do you ever think about what dinosaurs thought before that meteor hit them? like āoh itās about timeā or maybe they thought the sun was exploding. dinosaurs freak me out. imagine they were still here, would we even be here? would we co exist? would they keep us as pets? do you think your pets would rather be with you or in the wild?
do you have pets? i have a turtle named mikey, me and my friend agreed on the name. she wanted to name him that because of michelangelo (that orange turtle), i agreed because of mikey way. i really
am a geek. i actually donāt know if mikey is a boy or girl, and iām not sure when i decided he was a guy? iāll be able to tell when heās older. even if mikey does end up being a girl iāll keep the name, he wonāt know anyway.
if you celebrate, whatās on your christmas list? whatās hanukah like for people who celebrate? i feel like it would be so cool getting gifts 8 days straight, youād have stuff to look forward to for over a week. anyway, whatever you celebrate, spend time with the people you love, have a great time
happy holidays, xoxo
a
do you ever think about what dinosaurs thought before that meteor hit them? like āoh itās about timeā or maybe they thought the sun was exploding. dinosaurs freak me out. imagine they were still here, would we even be here? would we co exist? would they keep us as pets? do you think your pets would rather be with you or in the wild?
do you have pets? i have a turtle named mikey, me and my friend agreed on the name. she wanted to name him that because of michelangelo (that orange turtle), i agreed because of mikey way. i really
am a geek. i actually donāt know if mikey is a boy or girl, and iām not sure when i decided he was a guy? iāll be able to tell when heās older. even if mikey does end up being a girl iāll keep the name, he wonāt know anyway.
if you celebrate, whatās on your christmas list? whatās hanukah like for people who celebrate? i feel like it would be so cool getting gifts 8 days straight, youād have stuff to look forward to for over a week. anyway, whatever you celebrate, spend time with the people you love, have a great time
happy holidays, xoxo
a
